If you’re married, you’ve probably figured out that marriage isn’t always easy.  And it’s not supposed to be.  Like anything, time comes with changes; shifts within the individual, relationship movement and external life events.  As the honeymoon phase of a relationship gets further away in the rear view mirror, it’s important for the long term stabilizing factors like respect, friendship, commitment and common goals to kick in.  When work, family and other obligations stress the system, it’s crucial to remember to prioritize the relationship itself in the form of date nights, quality time spent together, intimacy and physical connection (even small but consistent micro-doses can be like glue that keeps the marriage connected).
For me, the most critical aspect of having a rock solid marriage (or long term relationship), is emotional safety within the relationship.  Both must feel they can fully emotionally rely on each other and have a collaborative spirit in how they approach things.  In my couples therapy practice, this is one of the first things I’m looking for, to assess whether they are still on the same team or have been compromised by a lack of emotional safety.  A marriage is in trouble if it has become adversarial

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com