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Ever wonder if there is a different way to treat what ails us and fill in the gaps that may be left by Western medicine? Every year, an increasing number of people turn to complementary and alternative medicine – also known as CAM therapy – to help relieve pain from chronic conditions, improve their overall health, […]
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Originally published at http://www.gottmanblog.com/

Amy Eden, an adult child of alcoholics and writer offers insight into navigating the waters of being in love with an “ACA.”
Have you heard the one about the confused man whose girlfriend of a year and a half suddenly got mad and left him? Just up and left. They’d never fought, not once. The relationship seemed perfectly fine. He’d introduced her to his friends and his whole family. They were engaged. They were going to get married. Then she split.
Haven’t heard that one? Well, I have. Time and again. Loving someone whose parents are alcoholics is challenging and often unpredictable territory.
How can anyone really know if their partner, potential husband or wife, came from an alcoholic household? It’s rarely clear. Sometimes it’s not known that someone’s parents are alcoholics — plenty of people have alcoholic parents without realizing it. Other times a person can have alcoholic parents and know it, but not understand the extent to which growing up in that environment affected them.
While the confused man stands shell shocked, we can examine his fiancee’s perspective. She met and fell for a wonderful man. He had his life together, treated her kindly, and wanted a future with her. It was love

Originally published at http://www.gottmanblog.com/

It doesn’t seem that long ago when I wrote a slew of articles to support the many under chronically high levels of stress, worry and preoccupation during the pandemic.  A common thread connecting my audience, clients and many people around me was uncertainty.  No matter how people experienced it, the collective response involved some level of fear and loss of control.  As humans can do, we sharpened our resilience and in many cases dug into what self-care during crisis looks like.
A recent Kaiser survey survey showed that 90% of the public believes there is a mental health crisis.  Primary concerns are mental health issues with teens and children, and anxiety or depression in adults.  One-third of U.S. adults said they have “always” or “often” felt anxious in the past year, and another third said they felt anxious “sometimes.” Sources of stress for adults in particular include finances as well as politics and current events.
In my therapy practice and personal life, I’ve seen concerns about the existential threats of extreme political divide, war, uptick in incidents involving hate and uncertainty about the direction of Covid.  We barely have had enough time to apply the salve on our prior wounds before stress

Originally published at http://www.gottmanblog.com/

Resilience is the ability to recover from adversity which can include illness, loss, financial instability, natural disasters and any other highly stressful events.  With all we have been through globally in the last several years, it’s evident people have learned how to cope with a lot of challenges.  Sadly, the undulating waves of collective stress, worry and grief continue, while bearing witness to an unprovoked war and unfolding human tragedy in Ukraine.
There is a palpable sense of feeling frayed again and time for a reminder about how to pool your inner resources to weather these storms.  The book, Bouncing Back:  Rewire Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Well-Being, by Linda Graham, MFT, is an excellent resource to do just that.  Here are some important nuggets you can practice now to help you move forward in the best way possible.
Resilience and the 6 C’s of Coping
1 – Calm
Learn to regulate your flight, fight, freeze response to experience inner peace vs numbness or collapse.
Try This:  Hand on the Heart 
Place your hand on your heart, close your eyes and breathe gently.  Call to mind a moment with someone who loves you unconditionally.  Feel the moment with them, notice their kind expression towards you.

Originally published at http://www.gottmanblog.com/