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For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.  –Viktor E. Frankl This past weekend I attended the wedding of a…
The post Marriage . . . Reality is Better Than the Dream appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://www.startmarriageright.com

Christmas is not, and never has been, my favorite time of the year. Christmas, for me, represents heartache and pain, separation and loneliness. This year was no different. It is not that I don’t enjoy celebrating the anniversary of the birth of our Savior with my family but there is always an underlying sadness and…
The post The Thorn of Divorce at Christmas appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://www.startmarriageright.com

As a former middle-school/high-school athletic director, it became a regular thing to receive emails when a parent was angry that their child was not given the opportunity to be a starter or star of the game. They were disheartened because they wanted to hear their child’s name called for the starting lineup over the loud…
The post Don’t Let Your Spouse Be The Overlooked Teammate appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://www.startmarriageright.com

“Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.” ~Robert Browning My husband and I went out for supper last night and our waiter’s name was ‘AGREEMENT’. He is originally from Zimbabwe but is now living in Stellenbosch, South Africa. When we asked him about his unusual name he told us that his…
The post Marriage is an Agreement appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://www.startmarriageright.com

While we are still amidst a pandemic and do not have grandparents in the area, it has been especially difficult to secure a babysitter for regular date nights. it is important to carve out intentional time with your spouse to date one another. We assume that just because we have been quarantined together for months…
The post Ten At-Home Date Ideas appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://www.startmarriageright.com

“Our life is a constant journey, from birth to death. The landscape changes, the people change, our needs change, but the train keeps moving. Life is the train, not the station.” ~Paulo Coelho God is the One who has laid down the railway tracks of our lives. My husband Steve and I have a mutual…
The post Marriage: A Single Line appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://www.startmarriageright.com

“A generous heart is always open, always ready to receive our going and coming. In the midst of such love we need never fear abandonment. This is the most precious gift true love offers – the experience of knowing we always belong.” —Bell Hooks If we have accepted the Lord as our Saviour God says…
The post Do You Belong in Your Marriage? appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://www.startmarriageright.com

“Every time I tried to tell you, the words just came out wrong, so I’ll have to say I love you in a song.” —Jim Croce Most of us find it difficult to express the emotions that at one moment excite and the next enervate us. Rich and I often commiserate with couples who express…
The post Love is a Song appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://www.startmarriageright.com

Linda Graham, MFT and author of Resilience: Powerful Practices for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty and Even Disaster, shares an exercise to help cultivate your wiser self.
When we’re facing a difficult decision – leaving a job that’s no long in alignment with our values and passions, seeking new possibilities but risking failure, or staying in a job that provides reliable financial security and a rewarding social network but risking dying on the vine in a stultifying inertia…
It’s valuable to be able to consult with someone who has our best interests at heart and who can provide truly wise counsel, guidance, and support.  And the best resource for that wisdom and care may be our very own wiser self.
The wiser self is an imaginary figure, evoked through guided visualization, real to the brain, who embodies the positive qualities that would lead to resilience and well-being: wisdom, courage, patience perseverance.  This wiser self is someone who truly cares for you and offers you their understanding, support, guidance to help you change and grow.  Your wiser self could be a version of yourself five or ten years from now, when you have fulfilled your aspirations for strength, competence, empowerment.  Your wiser self could be drawn from a

Originally published at http://www.startmarriageright.com

“I feel like I’m getting grinded down.  I’m starting to lose my resilience,” a friend said to me today when we stopped to chat 6 ft apart with masks, both on evening walks with our dogs.  We talked about how we each were faring in the pandemic.
We are collectively still in a battle with Covid-19.  Unless you are under a rock, you likely know someone whose life has been touched by this virus in some way involving health, the general stress of months of the unknown, economic uncertainty or even life lost.  Now facing the steepest virus climb and fallout yet, people are stressed, preoccupied and exhausted.  Many with vulnerabilities to anxiety or depression continue to be triggered.  And those without such histories are also struggling emotionally in their own ways, all reasonable reactions to such an unusual ongoing event.
The need for us all to lower our shoulders and exhale deeply is profound.  But though the tunnel is dark, there is light ahead.  We just need to get there.
Pandemic fatigue is legitimate no matter what lens you are viewing it through.  Whether you are in survival mode at one end of the continuum or fortunate to have health, financial means

Originally published at http://www.startmarriageright.com