The need to be perfect, perfectionism, can be a real challenge for people, impacting personal happiness and general well-being. Perfectionistic behavior can also negatively impact relationships. The problem is that there is often a real benefit to having your act together, being extremely detail oriented and seemingly able to do it all. And you may get a lot of positive feedback from those around you that reinforces this behavior. The reward system can be plentiful in this way. However the long term consequences of constantly trying to live up to such a high bar can be significant not only your emotional health but your closest relationships.
The problem with perfectionism is it’s a set up.
Human beings are not created to do anything perfectly. Human beings make mistakes. So at some point the perfectionist will do the same and likely endure a lot of suffering as a result. The drive to be perfect can be intense; high stress levels, anxiety or fear of NOT doing things perfectly and exhaustion. It’s a set up because it’s not only unsustainable but can have further consequences:
Impact on your own happiness. Perhaps you weaponize your drive to be perfect against yourself.
Impact on your relationships. Maybe those
Originally published at http://www.gottmanblog.com/