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Healing from the trauma of an affair is rarely easy, and it’s rarely straightforward. However, I’ve worked with many couples in counseling who have come back from the devastation of infidelity to rebuild a strong marriage/relationship, so I know it is possible. If you’re on the road to affair recovery, one thing that’s important to keep in mind is that seeming “backsliding” doesn’t mean that you’re not making progress. Indeed, despite how frustrating or unexpected that apparent regression can be, sometimes it means that you’re further along than you think. Let me explain…
I’ve previously written on the early stages of recovering from an affair, but this time I’d like to talk about a common problem often encountered further along the path. When we are deeply wounded by a person who has been hugely important in our life and who remains in our life after the wounding, we need to find a way to protect our emotional center while we heal. That protection requires us to be less vulnerable with our partner, a state of being that’s understandable and useful when coping with the shock and pain of an affair, but a state that we will outgrow when we’re ready for

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