Richard Nicastro, Phd, digs into the painful experience of being betrayed in an intimate relationship, offering insights into how to move into a space of self-care and compassion.  
An emotional tsunami often follows the discovery that your spouse/partner is (or was) having an affair. A psychological trauma has occurred in the form of a betrayal that can result in a wide range of psychological, emotional and physical symptoms.
The emotional distress and intensity of feelings make self-care a top priority in the affair recovery process. At the same time, it’s easy for self-care to fall by the wayside when your pain is extreme. Consider this article a gentle reminder to bring self-compassion to your journey.
The pain of discovery
Prior to finding out about the affair, you may have had suspicions that something wasn’t right —  your spouse/partner may have been acting in uncharacteristic ways that raised a red flag. You might have asked him/her, “Is everything OK?” or openly wondered about a specific behavior (“Why are you suddenly taking your cell phone everywhere you go?”).
In these instances, the repeated denials by your partner can be disorienting. Your instincts are telling you that you should be concerned, while your partner might be very convincing that

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com