Rindie Eagle, MA, LPCC
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
From around the web

Linda Graham, MFT and author of Resilience and Bouncing Back, looks at the power of response flexibility, an important aspect of resilience.  It’s the ability we all have to shift our attitude in any moment, no matter what has happened.    
Reflective intelligence hones your perceptions and responses to any event, any issue.  You can uncover and examine complex patterns of “thinking” that could derail your resilience and rewire them if you wish to.
You can learn to pause and become present, notice and name, allow-tolerate-accept, observe – to increasingly complex objects of awareness – sensations, emotions, thoughts, patterns of thought, beliefs, assumptions, values, points of view, identities.  Mindfulness even allows us to observe the processes of the brain that creates those “mental contents” and shift them to something more flexible and “open-minded” when necessary.
Many people think of mindfulness as a kind of thinking or cognition. Not exactly. Mindful awareness is more about being with rather than thinking about – knowing what you are experiencing while you are experiencing it.  This awareness and reflection about experience (and your reactions to your experience) creates choice points in your brain.  You can respond flexibly to whatever is happening, moment by moment by moment.
Here’s my own story of shit happens, but shift happens, too, to illustrate mindfulness

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

My husband, Keith, received an email from a colleague several years ago containing an article.  He immediately sent it to me and suggested I give it a read because it touched his soul.
From the moment I began reading the words of Australian author and songwriter, Bronnie Ware, I knew I wanted to share them with you.
I reached out to Bronnie with hope in my heart and she graciously agreed to allow me to post this article originally written on her site which was the basis for her best-selling book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departed.
After Bronnie released her book in Germany, it remained on its best sellers list every single week for well over a year.  I’ve not read the book but based on how touched I have been by the article, I imagine the book would do just as much.
Without further ado, the article that widened the smile on Keith and my face and reminded us that one of the best ways to live without regret is to not allow others to overly influence your family’s hopes, dreams or pursuit of happiness and to follow your own personal destiny.
Until tomorrow…make it

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

How do you think people around you would react if you received an emergency message that a loved one of yours had become gravely ill and was likely dying, and you responded with something like, “It’s best if I wait for a while before going to see him”? They would be very confused, wouldn’t they?…
The post The Power of Owning What You Say appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

I used to have this treacherous and dangerous tendency to hold on to the horrendous and heart-breaking moments in my relationship with my husband. I would let the bad memories play on repeat, letting my anger re-ignite at random times, and hold on to the trying times rather than the beautiful ones. Here’s the thing…
The post You Are Worth It, My Darling! appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

My sweet husband, Life is full of ups and downs. Life is full of tears and sorrow. Death and sadness. Life-changes and uncertainty. New babies and new dynamics. Life sends us curve balls and sometimes hits us head-on, unable to move and uncertain where to go next. BUT, I promise that through it all, I…
The post I Promise To Always Be Your Biggest Fan appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

When your family was preparing to visit a relative whose strict rules of the house were of major concern, did you ever hear your mother say to you as a child, something like, “Now, while we’re with Uncle Al and Aunt Betsy, I want you to be careful to mind your p’s and q’s ….
The post In Marriage, It’s Best to Mind Your P’s and Q’s appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

A little over ten years ago, we were pregnant with our first child, a daughter who would be named Natalie. We were extremely excited and nervous. I shared with one of my mentor-pastors that we were expecting to be parents. His face lit up, said “that’s awesome,” and then gave me a piece of unsolicited…
The post Practicing Grace During Seasons of Transition appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

The other day, I found myself excitedly planning several things I wanted to do to surprise my husband. I quickly made a mental checklist of what I needed to make it happen and then quickly realized I was unintentionally planning things I could ask for in return for my “kindness.” If I made his favorite…
The post Marriage with a No-Strings Attached Mindset appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

Sometimes the extraordinary we want is found in the ordinary we already have. —Linda Trammell One proverb asks a particularly intriguing question, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels” (Proverbs 31:10). Although the question seems pointed at single people, its message speaks to every reader—“finding” lasting love is a challenge….
The post All the Wrong Faces appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

If you must look back, do so forgivingly. If you must look forward, do so prayerfully. However, the wisest thing you can do is to be present in the present. Gratefully. —Maya Angelou On the 31st of December every year my husband and I go on a date. We find somewhere quiet, away from the house,…
The post What Gifts Are You Bringing to Your Marriage? appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com