The Under the Radar Relationship Killer
Researchers are doing a great job raising awareness about harmful things couples say and do in a relationship. For example, we now know from the work of Dr. John Gottman that there are four communication patterns which predict whether a couple will stay together or break up: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
We know high conflict couples are on a one-way trip to divorce if they don’t learn how to better communicate, take responsibility, and work towards shifting their adversarial paradigm to a more collaborative one.
Dr. Gottman’s research has also shown couples who turn towards their partner for emotional connection and are skilled at making repairs are more successful than couples who don’t.
Despite all this progress, there is one relationship killer which doesn’t receive as much attention and is just as damaging. It has the potential to slowly erode the foundation of love and trust over the course of a relationship.
Silence is destructive
Do you know a couple who appears to have it all together, never seems to fight, and for all intents and purposes looks like they have a great relationship? Sometimes they do.
However, they may have gotten in the habit of not saying a word when they are hurt, angry,