Mike reared his wide eyes toward Julie. “That is NOT the reception budget that we agreed on last week!”
Julie, dumbfounded, blinked back at her red-faced betrothed. “We’ve discussed this at least three times already. You always go back on your word about these things.”
Lacy: “Which color do you like better for the boutonnieres, pink or teal?”
Robert: “Sure. Whichever. I really don’t care.”
Lacy: “Why can’t you act like you care about this wedding for five seconds??”
Robert: [Blank stare]
Lacy: “Pick your own colors. I’m done.”
Jake: “You do realize that once we’re married, you can’t go to your parents every single night for dinner.”
Josh: “Um, dear, you knew you were marrying my whole family when you said yes.”
In each of the above scenarios, which partner do you think won?
There is one fight that all couples have before they tie the knot.
It is the fight for control.
Although this fight is usually subdued, it can be emotionally reactive and masked by the denial of both partners. Engaged couples are especially at risk of mishandling this pattern because greater issues are often disguised as wedding planning stress, or the conflict is avoided altogether because of the myth that premarital couples shouldn’t fight.
Behaving in controlling ways –

Read More at https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-one-fight-all-couples-have-before-tying-the-knot/

Originally published at http://www.gottmanblog.com/

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