The Emotional Disconnection of Not Allowing Your Partner In
Richard Nicastro, PhD offers his wisdom around why people often don’t invite help from their partners and how this communication breakdown can lead to misunderstandings in relationships. He challenges you to consider if you block your partner and what ways you let each other know you are feeling vulnerable.
When we love someone, there’s usually a strong desire to take care of that person – to be a steady presence for him/her, or to offer support, encouragement, or words of reassurance when needed. You’ve probably felt the pull to give of yourself in this way to your spouse/partner.
We don’t just want our partner to be there for us, we want the opportunity to be there for him/her as well.
One issue I see in my couples counseling practice is when one partner is struggling with something but s/he doesn’t let the other know about it (or s/he lets the other know about it in such a way that doesn’t allow for support).
There can be different reasons for not inviting support from your partner:
You are sparing your partner something unpleasant (you believe you are protecting him/her from the contagion of what you’re feeling);
You anticipate some type of negative reaction if you do share what