Premarital Couples: Invest in Your Marriage as you do in Your Wedding Day
Our society puts a lot of focus on the wedding day. Many couples spend countless hours on wedding preparation considering where they will marry, who will come, what color the flowers will be, tasting food, contemplating wedding favors and other touches that they believe will make this day special. It’s common to spend large sums of money to make it happen.
As a couples therapist who works with couples at all ends of the continuum, from premarital to contemplating divorce, I sometimes wonder why there isn’t more thought put into marriage investment as well. Seeing couples in distress in my office, I’m struck by the lack of education and tools needed to keep a relationship thriving for the long haul. Many just never learned how to have the best relationship possible and I can understand how this happens, especially when the beginning of a relationship can feel so intoxicating.
In the honeymoon phase, it’s easy to allow warm and fuzzy feelings of new love (your brain chemistry playing a significant role in this, with the biological drive to ensure connection) to allow you to miss a couple of realities:
Life can be hard.
Relationships can be hard.
What does it mean to “invest in the marriage?”