Even if you put in a grueling 40+ hour work week, cook dinner, change diapers, and coach your kid’s soccer team, guess what? You may still not get it right!
Despite your best attempts (and successes) at showing up for your family, it’s entirely possible you’re still coming home to an unhappy wife, feeling criticized and unappreciated.
To make matters worse, there seems to be no end in sight and nothing you can do to fix it. The bar keeps getting raised. The target keeps being moved. Peace, it seems, is ever elusive and your partner increasingly impossible to please. Nothing you do or say seems to help, so you say nothing.
For many men in modern heterosexual marriages, the tendency to become quiet and withdraw during conflict is born out of a well-intended desire to focus on the positive, a propensity towards not wanting to escalate things further or increase the discord with their spouse. For others, it’s an involuntary reaction to stress, a logical form of damage control that nature has hardwired into you and Dr. Gottman’s research supports this.
Men in heterosexual relationships are consistently more likely to stonewall than their female partners.  In fact, 85% of Dr. Gottman’s

Originally published at http://www.gottmanblog.com/

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