Family of Origin Work: How to Untangle and Tend to Your Obstacles
(part 2 of a 3 series piece)
In Family of Origin Work: Is it Time to Start Digging?, I looked at possible reasons for looking more closely at what might be an unhealthy root system underneath you. Sometimes our earlier experiences create obstacles to emotional and relationship health.
If you’ve determined you might need to “get out your shovel,” so to speak, let’s look at the how of getting deeper to these blocks. The first step is to think about your personal history and whether there are important data points leading to feeling badly about yourself, doubt that relationships can be secure or whether the world is a safe place. Children are the most vulnerable to adverse experiences because of their lack of ability to make clear sense of them. They often assign incorrect meaning to situations that actually have nothing to do with them. Unhealthy seeds of experience have a tendency to become tangled and unhealthy roots into adulthood. The goal is to untangle, tend to and regrow for peace and understanding that you are actually ok.
Some Events/Circumstances That Can Plant Unhealthy Seeds in a Young Heart and Mind
Your parent(s) were absent, abandoning or present but unemotionally available.
Your parent(s) were abusive or highly critical.