Rindie Eagle, MA, LPCC
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
From around the web

Rick Hanson, PhD, author and expert on the neuroscience of well-being and relationships, looks at some of the ways we can behave to illicit a calm vs threat response from others.  
We evolved to be afraid.
The ancient ancestors that were casual and blithely hopeful, underestimating the risks around them – predators, loss of food, aggression from others of their kind – did not pass on their genes. But the ones that were nervous were very successful – and we are their great-grandchildren, sitting atop the food chain.
Consequently, multiple hair-trigger systems in your brain continually scan for threats. At the least whiff of danger – which these days comes mainly in the form of social hazards like indifference, criticism, rejection, or disrespect – alarm bells start ringing. See a frown across a dinner table, hear a cold tone from a supervisor, get interrupted repeatedly, receive an indifferent shrug from a partner, watch your teenager turn her back and walk away . . . and your heart starts beating faster, stress hormones course through your veins, emotions well up, thoughts race, and the machinery of fighting, fleeing, freezing, or appeasing kicks into high gear.
The same thing happens in the other direction: when you

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

“God doesn’t want me to be a ‘fix him’ wife, God wants me to be a ‘love him’ wife.” -Lysa TerKeurst Today, I fell more in love with him, my husband and father of my children.  He extinguishes fires and re-starts hearts for a living, and then comes home and becomes the life behind the…
The post Be a “Love Him” Wife appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

People generally think of stress and anxiety as negative concepts, but while both stress and anxiety can reach unhealthy levels, psychologists have long known that both are unavoidable — and that they often play a helpful, not harmful, role in our daily lives, according to a presentation at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association.

“Many Americans now feel stressed about being stressed and anxious about being anxious. Unfortunately, by the time someone reaches out to a professional for help, stress and anxiety have already built to unhealthy levels,” said Lisa Damour, PhD, a private-practice psychologist who presented at the meeting. Damour also writes a regular column for The New York Times and is author of the book “Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls.”
Stress usually occurs when people operate at the edge of their abilities — when they push themselves or are forced by circumstances to stretch beyond their familiar limits, according to Damour. It’s also important to understand that stress can result from both bad and good events. For instance, being fired is stressful but so is bringing a baby home for the first time.
“It’s important for psychologists to share our knowledge about stress

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

This article was written for the Tony Robbins blog by guest contributor Oren Klaff, and is inspired by content contained in his new book, Flip the Script: Getting People to Think Your Idea is Their Idea. Building a dream home is something many people look forward to for years. But the moment you’re ready to […]
The post The #1 sales script that gives your clients certainty appeared first on tonyrobbins.com.

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. –Winston Churchill This insightful quote sums up marriage in a very succinct manner. It is relatively easy to get married but it takes immense courage to stay married in the face of disappoints, disillusionment…
The post Is Your Marriage Built to Last? appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

I’ve been blessed to do some really amazing things in my life. First, there was the opportunity to go to Houston when I was sixteen years old and represent the state of Kentucky at the Hugh O’Brian Youth Foundation (HOBY) World Leadership Congress. While there, I sang the national anthem at an Astros-Expos baseball game, flew…
The post See the Amazing appeared first on Start Marriage Right.

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

Vanessa Smith Bennett, AMFT, addresses fake positivity and encourages seeing negative emotions as an opportunity for growth, not something to avoid.
These days, the realm of spirituality (and sometimes psychology) can feel fake. Instagram and other social media are jammed with influencer posts about positive vibes, about not allowing negative energy or thoughts to get to you, about surrounding yourself with only supportive, positive people.
Unless you live in a bubble or on Mars, this is not only unrealistic, but also a recipe for never growing or truly learning who you are. If you attempt to transcend or avoid difficult experiences, you can remain emotionally stunted. Spiritually minded psychologists and teachers refer to this as spiritual bypassing. Like it or not, the ugly parts of our humanity are where growth can occur.
In the words of Buddhist teacher, author, and nun Pema Chödrön:

“Feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear… are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They’re like messengers that tell us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck.”

Many emotions serve as flags indicating an opportunity for us to learn. Challenge, sorrow, change, discomfort, conflict, hatred, depression, and anxiety are paths to

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

What makes people happy? Well, it’s not money. And it’s not fame or popularity. It’s actually quite simple. It’s the people in our lives. And for many people, it’s really about one person in particular—their romantic partner. Romantic relationships are often described as one of the most significant relationships for adults. And there’s good reason for that.
Think about what healthy relationships do for us. They provide support—from an extra pair of hands around the house, to financial assistance, to a shoulder to cry on when life turns upside down. More importantly perhaps, romantic relationships also provide opportunity for connection and intimacy, the experience of being understood and cared for; they also bring feelings of joy, excitement, and fun, to name a few. In other words, romantic relationships enrich our lives in countless ways.
But what about when we’re struggling personally, such as with feelings of depression, anxiety, or some other concern? Is there a way for us to use our relationship to improve our individual psychological health? You probably guessed it, but the answer is a resounding yes!
Why bring your partner into therapy? Well, let’s first acknowledge how hard it is to make the necessary changes in order to overcome depression,

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

Health is a focus for many and there are different aspects from what we put into our bodies to how well we keep them moving.  And there are precise ways to measure these things, providing detailed data and insight into how our bodies are functioning.
Some wear health tracking devices that measure resting heart rate, quality of sleep and other classic indicators of physical health.  We analyze the data, express glee when the 10,000 steps celebration buzzes on our wrist and reflect back on our heart rates during tense moments.  It’s fascinating, useful and for many maintains a sense of well being to have this data available with such ease.
According to a recent study by the PLOS Journal (Public Library of Science), there is another indicator of health not related to a gadget but rather your social circle. Researchers at the University of Notre Dame looked at what the structure of social networks says about the state of health, happiness and stress, specifically what the position in the person’s social network predicts about health and well being.
“What we found was the social network structure provides a significant improvement in predictability of wellness states of an individual over just using the data

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com

Top line: Many people may think that love is what allows us to overcome obstacles in relationships, but in reality, it is trust. Trust is the glue that holds the relationship together, and without it, the relationship ceases to grow. Have you ever had someone you love betray your trust? It’s a gut-wrenching feeling. You […]
The post Has your trust been betrayed? appeared first on tonyrobbins.com.

Originally published at http://loveandlifetoolbox.com