Being Compassionate and Rescuing: Knowing the Difference
Jennifer Lehr, MFT takes an honest look at her personal experience in a rescuer role in a relationship with a drug addicted partner. She learns to reclaim her own life after discovering and working with the part of her that believed she needed to save others.
Sometimes we confuse compassion with rescuing someone else. Compassion is not rescuing. It is feeling the other person’s pain. Compassion does not mean that you agree with how they see reality. But it is understanding and caring about their reality.
I’ve always been a compassionate person. I have always had empathy for those people, animals and even plants that were struggling, abused or in pain. I felt their pain. Yet my compassion was slanted. I didn’t have compassion for those I saw as responsible for the pain of others. It was as if I lived in a black and white universe. There were those who were victims and those who were perpetrators. I still at times struggle with this. Perhaps the complexity of my father left me with this view. He could be very mean and cause hurt, and yet he contained worlds of his own hurt. Somehow I had him split. The good dad and