What can you do right now to make your relationship more romantic?
You could get your wife a diamond necklace. Or maybe you could buy her the Mercedes dream car she’s always wanted.
Sounds like a good idea, right?
But let’s suppose that you haven’t asked your wife a question in five years, so you fail at Love Maps.
Or while you are out on a double date with friends and your wife starts telling a story, you say, “that’s a good story, but you always tell it wrong. Let me tell it.”
So you fail at showing her fondness and admiration.
Later that night she excitedly plops down next to you on the couch and shows you a picture of a romantic getaway in Italy.
“Isn’t this romantic?”
You respond, “will you be quiet? I’m trying to read here!”
So you fail at turning towards her when she tries to connect with you.
Now reconsider that necklace and new car.
Is that going to rekindle the romance?
I don’t think so.
She’ll probably throw the necklace on the ground and use the new Mercedes to drive over it a few times for good measure.
The Micro-Moments of Love
Culture has distorted what makes passion sizzle in a marriage. Advertisements convey the message that a

Originally published at http://www.gottmanblog.com/

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